In Memorium.

I read somewhere that more people die on or around Christmas than any other day of the year. Whether or not this is true, I do not know. But, I do know two very important historical figures died this year on or around Christmas, but more important, to me at least, a great musician (that's not James Brown) died only a few weeks prior to Christmas. His name was Logan Whitehurst, he was 29, and he died due to complications from brain cancer. You've probably never heard of Logan, and if you have it is probably because of his amazing work as the drummer for The Velvet Teen. However, he was much more than a drummer, his solo albums were amazing, and his last one was released the day after Christmas. It is titled Very Tiny Songs, and contains 81 tracks. If you listen to Dr. Demento, you've probably heard some of his work.

I met him once. I think it was September or October of 2003, and his band, The Velvet Teen, had just played at The Middle East, in Cambridge Mass. He was a really nice guy. The other two band members were all dark and moody, but Logan was as bright as a spring morning. I've never spoken to a musician that was more enthused to talk to his fans. I told him how I totaled my car because of him. I was driving up to the Tweeter Center in Mansfield Ma, to see Radiohead, and listening to his album while doing so. It had rained earlier and we were in stop and go traffic, but I was so into his song Robot Cat (while writing this blog entry I had my iTunes on shuffle, and out of some 5,000 songs, this one came on when I was about to post), that I failed to notice the person in front of me had stopped, and my car slid right under hers. He found the story to be rather amusing, and in jest he offered me compensation.

It wasn't long after that performance that he had to leave the band. He came down with a mysterious illness, and was barely able to finish recording the album Elysium. The album turned out to be epic in every way, it was, without a doubt, the best album of 2004. I have never heard anything like this album either before or after. Unfortunately, he was not able to tour for the album, and they brought in some hack to replace him. It was his cancer that stopped him. He didn't stop being a musician though. After he felt as if he had his cancer under control he went to work on the above mentioned Very Tiny Songs album. I wrote Logan an e-mail this past autumn. He had posted on his MySpace blog that he had beaten cancer, and then it had come back, and then he had beaten it again (or at least that's how I interpreted it, it can be hard to understand what Logan writes), but in late August his doctor told him he would die within the year. I had hoped to hear from him before this happened, but it never happened. I told him how much I loved his music, and that he was a really nice guy the one time we met. I told him how much I was looking forward to his next album. I don't hold it against him that he never got back to me, he was dying from cancer and probably had more important things to do, I know I would.

On December 3rd of this year, 2006, Logan Whitehurst died from brain cancer. He will be missed.


Logan & Vanilla the Plastic Snowman!!

Here is an excellent essay Logan wrote on how to be cool. How to be Cool.

Santa Tracker

It's Christmas somewhere. Right now it's still Christmas Eve here on the east coast, but you can still track Santa. Thanks to NORAD you can see where Santa's been and where he is now. Go check it out.

NORAD's Santa Tracker

None of your Business

Not that it's any of you business, but I thought I'd share anyway. Yesterday, after I had made the post about EnglishRussia, I was heading to school to meet with some friends to study for today's exams. After I pumped some gas on the way there I experienced the most painful thing I've ever felt. The left side of my chest hurt like I was being stabbed. The pain was so bad it almost knocked me off my feet, I went weak in the knees. It felt like someone giving me a purple-nurple from the inside out. I ended up having a couple of these little outbursts of pain over the next 10-15 minutes. So I decided I should go to the hospital, something I normally wouldn't do. I'm not a fan of hospitals, I feel weak if I ever have to visit them. It's the same reason I don't take anything for headaches. In fact this was my first visit to a hospital, as a patient, since I bit the tip off my tongue as a 5 or 6 year old, so over 15 years. At the hospital they gave me an electro cardiogram, and some chest x-rays, but they didn't see anything. According to them there's nothing wrong with me. I just hope they're right, I'd hate to drop dead Christmas morning.

The highlight of the day were the people I shared a room with. There was the old couple, Daisy and her husband. Daisy had fallen a few days ago, but because of her alzheimers she has no recollection of it, or why she's at the hospital; then there was the ghetto lesbians, the manly one had been bitten by a spider on her stomach and was in severe pain. Her crying was only interrupted by the occasional scream, making out with her girlfriend or telling the nurse she was "in FUCKING pain." The whole this was wonderful to listen to. The old man kept having to hold Daisy down so she wouldn't fall out of this bed too. And the ghetto lesbians kept yelling at the nurses and doctors. Here's an example of one of their conversations:

Ghetto Lesbo 1 (the one in pain): (in a strong masculine tone) AHHHHH, I'm in FUCKING pain, it huuuurrttss!!!!
Ghetto Lesbo 2: It'll be ok baby
Creepy old Doctor: We don't need any of that in this hospital.
GL2: What??
GL1: (in mousy tone) It was my mouth.

And they more or less repeated that exchange with 2 or 3 doctors and at least 3 nurses.

Aside from the excruciating chest pain it was a good day.

Finals.

Sorry for a lack of updates, but it is finals time. I'll be done tomorrow around 7pm.

In the mean time check out: EnglishRussia.com

It is full of Russian (and former Soviet) real life humor.

Here is a sample of whats to come:

Describing Kazakhstan: "Real people of Kazakhstan don’t look like Sasha Baron Cohen, but more like Jacky Chan."

Or how about this wonderful music video from Kazakhstan. If you ever wondered what rap would sound like coming out of Central Asia, you now have an answer.



You could spend all day exploring the site. Most of it is in broken English, but you can figure it out. Anyway, back to school work.

Hear No Evil Smell No Evil.

Recently Gallaudet University has been in the news as they try to replace the president of their university. In case you didn't know it, Gallaudet is the nations premiere university for the deaf. After hearing more than one story about Gallaudet on NPR, combined with a particular meal at a local Irish pub/ restaurant, it got me thinking. When you are surrounded by nothing but fellow deaf people, can you fart with impunity? I know they are going to smell it, and perhaps they may even notice you squirm as you try to hold it in, but are they going to know it if you just casually let one rip? There is no way to narrow in on a culprit.

Your Weekly Moment of Zen #9

Apparently if you're a fruitty Arab dude it's difficult to express yourself. You can't wear a dress, even the straight dudes wear those. You can't get married, most marriages in the middle east are arrainged marriages, and it's tough to tell whose a gay when you're pairing off newborns. I got it, you can be a figure skater. But, wait there is no ice. Nevermind, just improvise like these "dudes."



BTW: Don't you wish we had roads that smooth in the US?

Well I Missed It.

The past three nights Ryan Adams & The Cardinals were playing at Town Hall in NYC, and I missed each and every show. It was a small venue, and they promised not to repeat songs. I read last week that they expected to play between 70-80 songs over the span of three nights. Eighty songs? I've seen Sigur Ros 6 times, they've been around over 10 years, and I don't think they've 80 different songs over the course of their career. It is times like this that I wish I lived in NYC, and could figure out Ryan Adams' web site better. You should check it out, it's a bit schizophrenic, Ryan-Adams.com. I don't know if he has a mailing list or not, and the way he just seems to play one off shows when ever he pleases I don't know if I'll ever get to see him live. I haven't yet pulled myself to check the set lists for the last three nights. I haven't been to a concert in so damn long, I haven't been in the mood to travel to Boston or NYC, and the only shows in CT have been crap. I'm going to try and see Explosions in the Sky in Boston in February, and I'll try to catch MONO in Boston in April and NYC in May. I saw MONO in the spring of 2005 at an American Legion Hall here in Wallingford, and it was crazy loud. The venue, if you can call it that, was just a big room, it wasn't even that big. I was about the size of the living room and kitchen combined at my old house. I think there may have been 40 people there. After that show, I'll keep on seeing them till that make me go deaf, because they are oh so loud. Now I'm rambling, Goodnight, or Goodmorning.

The Fountain

I went to see this movie Friday night. I had heard rather mixed reviews about the movie itself. Every professional reviewer completely panned, more or less shit on film. Every individual I encountered that had seen it praised the film. I got the theatre as the previews were about to start, and was afraid I wasn't going to get a good seat. Before going in, I talked to the ticket taker guy (I guess you'd call him an usher), and he told me the last time they showed the movie, 8 out of 10 people left early. Not a good sign. Finally the girlfriend finishes in the bathroom, and I hurry in to get a seat. Whoa. We were alone in the theatre, and it stayed that way. Never before have I been to a movie this empty. This was on a Friday night, the lobby was packed, and I had to wait in line to buy tickets. But, no one but the GF and TGT wanted to watch this movie. The movie kinda sucked. I have no plans to see it ever again, but it wasn't as bad as some of the reviews I read, and it was nowhere near being bad enough to make me want to leave. I don't want to say "I didn't get it" because I think I got it, but there just wasn't much to get about the movie. The story was weak. The budget was obviously too little, at one point they are in the snow, you can hear the snow crunching, but none of the snow moves, and there are no footprints. Would I recommended you watch this movie? No. Is this movie as bad as Darren Arronofsky's first film, Pi? Hell no, I don't think I'll ever see another movies as bad as Pi.

HDTV

It's finally here, I have HD. My family has had a TV capable of High Definition for some time now, but as of yesterday we finally got a HD Digital Cable box and DVR. HD is ok, but I love the DVR. I never really was excited about this sort of thing, but now that I have it, it is fricking awesome. I was pausing TV last night, just 'cause. I've scheduled recording for 2 weeks from now, just 'cause. Now all I need is a Wii, and I'll be set. Let me record TV shows while I'm playing $5 20 year old video games. I love you technology.

Your Weekly Moment of Zen #?

Well there you have it. Look at the way the little one moves, kinda creepy.

Ghetto Prom Pictures

I saw this over at my favorite message board. It's the kind of thing you need to see to believe. Here is a little taste of what is to come. Ghetto Prom Pictures
























And don't accuse me of going all Kramer on you, there's some white folk on there as well.

next week

no moment of zen this week. sorry, i know how much you love my pointless and often humorless videos. think of the bright side, at least you wont need to ignore this week.

Happy Thanksgiving

I am so...










for some...

Water Damage.

Tuesday morning at about 2am a water main broke on the campus of my university flooding the library. I've got two fairly large papers coming up, and over 55,000 books have been damaged and are being sent out to be 'fixed'. Not only that, but every periodical and journal the school owns was in the basement, where there was over 7 feet of water. The entire children's collection was damaged, and all the micro-film is water logged. They didn't specify, but I'd guess close to 100 have been destroyed. The is currently no time frame for getting back into the library. The upper three floors are open, but they are computer labs and classrooms, only a small number of books are held here. I'm really out of luck when it comes times to write these papers. I was going to need the journals in the basement, but that ideas all wet. Shit, this sucks. I hope tuition doesn't go up.

Charity.

I may be a Scrooge when it comes to Christmas music in November, but I can respect this man. His name is Larry Stewart, and he has been handing out money to strangers for close to 30 years. It started as a large tip, and progressed to him giving away $5, $10, $20 $50 and $100 to people he thought looked like they needed it. To date he has given away about $1.3 million. This year alone he will give out more than $165,000 dollars to complete strangers in Chicago and Kansas City. However, he is weak from chemotherapy, and will be sending out trained Secret Santas in his place.

I don't have large amounts of money to give away to charity. Although I like to tell myself otherwise I am, in fact, in debt, but I don't want that to stop me. After reading the above linked story I went through my clothes and pulled out the ones I no longer need. The Salvation Army is closed for the weekend, but Monday I will be dropping off clothes for the needy. This isn't something I've never done before. I give clothes to the Salvation Army on a semi-regular basis, a couple times a year minimum. I know I don't give much, but I give some. Some of you reading this blog will probably read this and say I do too little, but thats wrong. Justing doing something is enough. If we all can give an extra large tip to downtrodden looking waitress, or buy a homeless man lunch, or donate some extra clothes to charity we will all be better off. You don't need to give out $100, all you need to do in make an effort.

At my limit.

I can tolerate the Christmas decorations in places like Wal-Mart and Target this early in the year, but does the radio need to play Christmas music on November 17? Granted it is my favorite Christmas song (also my favorite Springsteen song), Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band doing "Santa Clause is coming to Town," but it is still too early. I hate the way stores, and now radio stations, are jumping the gun by so much with Christmas. At least wait until after Thanksgiving.

You Weekly Moment of Zen #7

I imagine this real life Frogger action had the same effect on that intersection as the brown note would've.

Blog Action

There are approxamtly 100,000 new blogs created every day.

There are only about 4,000 blogs that are considered "blogging elite." Meaning they have at least 500 other blogs linking to them.

Heart Palpitations

Holy Crap. I thought I was going to have a heart attack last night. I was getting ready for bed, and had the scare of my life. I grabbed the cat, I like to bring him upstairs to sleep in my room, he wakes me up in the morning. After I put the cat down, I took off my cardigan and clogs, and went to take my pants off when I noticed something on my shoulder. I though a lock of my hair had fallen down so I brushed it aside, but after the hair moved it was still there. I turned my head as far as it goes and looked at my shoulder, and there was A FREAKING MOUSE ON MY SHOULDER. I have no idea where in the hell it came from, but at 2am it freaked the hell out of me. I knocked it off my shoulder and started to spin in circles. This all peaked the cats interest, luckily for the mouse he landed in my shoe and the cat didn't notice that. I took the mouse outside to set free, he was small, about the size of a Peep with its headed bitten off. I could have fit about 30 of them in my shoe, he was so small. When I came back inside, the cat was still sitting next to my bed, waiting for the mouse to show himself. The cat stayed there for a few I hours. In fact he was probably there until the sun came up. Anyway, the mouse scared the shit out of my last night.

You Weekly Moment of Zen #6

Wait for the end. I don't speak Finnish, but I can only guess what they're talking about in the car. The hand gesture almost makes it look like this sort of thing is routine.

Feelin' Lucky?

How'd you feel about spending $100 to get a 1 in 5000 chance at winning a $450,000 car? Now is your chance. A Mercedes-Benz dealership down in Maryland ordered an SLR for a customer last Christmas, but the buyer backed out. I think thats code for "wife said no." Anyway, his loss is our gain. The dealer is trying to recoup his losses by selling raffle tickets for this beast. For only $100 you will be sold 1 of 5000 tickets. I'm seriously thinking of buying one. It would be amazing to own one of these cars. So few are produced, and apparently even fewer are sold. Paris Hilton drives one, which could be scaring off potential buyers. V12, 0-60 in 3.8 seconds, 617 hp, top speed 207mph. Or you could just take a $300,000 alternate prize, which does make more sense. I don't know about states other than Connecticut, but here it would cost a fortune just to win it. Sales tax alone would be $27,000, then theres a gas guzzler tax, personal property taxes, and possibly gift taxes, that doesn't even insure it. I'm guessing minimal coverage would be at least $8-10,000, but probably higher. So just to drive it that first mile would cost you close to $100,000, if not more. I'll take the prize money please.

Pelican Swallows Pigeon

My earliest memories are of a trip to Key West when I was about 2, I remember two things. 1. Seeing Pelicans 2. A wind up SCUBA toy. Since then Pelicans have been my favorite avian creature. When I read this story I was psyched. Pelicans aren't suppose to eat pigeons, nor are they supposed to live in London, but thats beside the point. The coolest thing about it is, that big pouch the pelican has, you can see the pigeon flapping about.



Pelican catching pigeon.
Pelican Tries to swallow pigeon.

You Weekly Moment of Zen #5

The audio from this is from a real political ad in Wisconsin. I'm not sure if the video is official, but it works with the audio. This is quite possibly the greatest political advertisement ever, and by greatest I mean worst.

Vote for Ron!!

Sorry

I've been really busy this week with school, work and neutering my cat. I've barely had enough time to eat or sleep, never mind updating this blog. This weekend I'm going to catch up on some stuff, and hopefully be back in blogging form come Monday.

moment of zen coming later today.

Your Weekly Moment of Zen #4

This one goes out to all the ladies:

Powerball Update

Damnit, I'm 0 for 1. This is a waste of time... I give up.

Powerball

Today I bought my first ever lottery ticket. Powerball.

Lets hope I go 1 for 1.


Later I'll let you know how I do.

Hurray For Beer.

Thanks to National Geographic I've got the top 25 per capita Beer consumers for you.

1. Czech Republic------------------160.5*
2. Ireland---------------------------127.4
3. Germany-------------------------109.9
4. Austria---------------------------105.8
5. Belgium---------------------------98.6
6. United Kingdom-----------------95.7
7. Denmark-------------------------92.5
8. Slovakia--------------------------92.4
9. Australia-----------------------87.8
10.Venezuela---------------------83.3
11.United States------------------82.8
12.Spain-----------------------------82.1
13.Finland---------------------------81.7
14.Hungary-------------------------80.1
15.New Zealand------------------77.3
16.Netherlands
17.Poland
18.Portugal
19.Canada
20.Romania
21.Bulgaria
22.Russia
23.Switzerland
24.South Africa
25.Norway

Sorry for only having volumes for the top 15, but that is all Nat. Geo. gave out. And, in case you hadn't noticed, I bolded all non-European nations.

*All volume measured in liters per capita.

Your Weekly Moment of Zen #3

I can stand Honda, but I love this commercial.

As if the Kazahks didn't have enough problems.

First they get stuck with Borat, now the national bank of Kazahkstan has mispealled the word "bank" on their new currency. Apparently Borat hadn't done enough damage to the nation's image so they decided to let the government take over. And, it isn't just some of the money, it is about 80% of the currency printed for the year.

Just a Reminder

For some crazy reason, or because I fucked something up, my blog is best viewed on a Mac or PC running Firefox as the web browser.

If you haven't yet experienced FireFox go ahead an download it now, there is a box thing you can click over there ---> and down a little bit (or alot if your PC is messin' up my blog). Then you can see my blog, and the internet, the way it was meant to be seen... without MS's hand in pants... I mean business.

300 Million Americans

Tomorrow morning at about quarter till eight the US will reach the 300 million mark for population. We reached 100 million in 1915, 200 million in 1967, and are expected to reach 400 million by the year 2043.

I'm not entirely sure how they can be sure we'll reach 300 million at 7:46 am October 17th, but that's what they're saying. Anyway, in case you didn't realize this, the United States is already the third most populous nation on Earth, and now we'll be only the third nation with over 300 million people (but I suppose that is self explanatory).

Your Weekly Moment of Zen #2

This is only about 4 minutes longer than it needs to be.

Maine Rednecks

*Sorry for the delay in postings, my internet went down (again) this weekend.*

This past weekend I took my girlfriend up to Maine for the weekend. Being relatively new to the north she had yet to visit Maine, so we thought we'd make a weekend of it. You may be wondering why we would choose this weekend to visit Maine. Well I have two answers for you; 1) the October issue of National Geographic Traveler touts Maine's Fryeburg Fair as being a wondrous experience, 2) no woman (not even my girlfriend) can pass up outlet shopping, especially in a place like Freeport.

By God were we wrong. The Fryeburg Fair must have been one of the worst experiences of my life. The fair takes place hours from the nearest highway, in what amounts to be a residential area with only 2, maybe 3, small access roads. A 4:20 drive turned into a 7 hour drive because of more traffic than I've ever seen in my entire life, and in the northern reaches of New Hampshire of all places. Once I got into the fair it totally sucked. It was overly crowded. It looked more like a cheap carnival than a fair. And, worst of all, I had to finally admit to my girlfriend that northern rednecks/ white-trash, are in fact much much worse than anything she ever saw growing up in Atlanta, and then living in Alabama. I had and aunt that lived just south of Canada, in Vermont, and I do recall seeing numerous country folk, but never did I realize how back water some of these people are. I expect more from New Englanders. I don't think I've ever seen so many mullets in one place. And I know for a fact I haven't seen that many Insane Clown Posse, and Eminem t-shirts in one place since the late 90s, it ever. No wonder Canadians dislike Americans, we've stuck all our genetic rejects right on their border. One of the main selling points in the article was the amazing food, and specifically maple sugar cotton candy, at the fair. Wow, that sucked too. It tastes like normal cotton candy, although the ear of corn covered in maple syrup was pretty damn good.

The weekend wasn't all bad. We did stay in a fairly nice hotel, which was over an hour from Fryeburg, and Freeport was fun. I bought a kickass winter hat at the LL Bean factory store, and some new socks. The drive back to Connecticut was also fun, no traffic, only a few tolls, and the thought of never having to return to Fryeburg for so long as I shall live.

Metalocalypse

When I was an angry teenager I went through my heavy metal phase. Most guys do, but I grew out of it. Sure I have all of Metallica's albums, but so do alot of people. Anyway after years of repressing my metalheadness, Metaloclypse has brought it back out. It is a short featured on Adult Swin on Cartoon Network, and each episode is under 15 minutes long. This is hands down the best cartoon created since South Park. Don't believe me? Check out this episode for yourself (it's not my favorite episode, but the only one I could find in its entirty on YouTube).

Part One:


Part Two:


And for some reason the intro sequence was cut off of Part One, so here it is.

Your Weekly Moment of Zen

Hopefully this will be a new tradition here on The Guinness Tooth.

Beam Me Up Scotty

We haven't quite reached Star Trek levels of teleportation, but some scientists over in Copenhagen (a truly beautiful city, you should visit), have managed to teleport both light and matter about half a meter. Who knows how long it'll be before we can send people, or cows, any great distance, but it will happen. I know for a fact I will not be one of the first to use it. The last thing I want is to end up with my atomic structure scattered throughout the universe by some mistake in the calculations. Or even worse, end up like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.

This is The Sex

The word for today is "Juxtaposition."
From the Merriam-Webster Online dictionary:
Pronunciation: "j&k-st&-p&-'zi-sh&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin juxta near + English position -- more at JOUST
: the act or an instance of placing two or more things side by side; also : the state of being so placed

Here's an example of poor use of Juxtaposition:

Why place such terrible music "side by side" with one of the most beautiful cars of the last...forever.

The Flaming Lips: 9/24/06 Hammerstein Ballroom

Sunday night I did something I’ve wanted to do for many years, be part of a Flaming Lips concert. Note the fact I said “be a part of” as opposed to simply “watching” or “going to” a Flaming Lips concert. This is because Wayne Coyne makes you, the audience member, feel like so much more than a simple concert go-er. He makes you feel like one of the regulars at a Flaming Lips house party. I have never seen a band-leader, or in his case a ring-leader, do such an amazing job of making every audience member feel like the only audience member. I simply cannot get over the fact that this band did what it did. Standing on stage, perhaps 20 feet away from me, Wayne has this ability to come across as the most likeable guy in rock n’ roll. He makes you think if you ran into him at random, that the two of you would be best friend for life. Before the concert even starts he is showing what a cool guy he is. He is up there on the side of the stage watching the entire set of the opening act, which is something I’ve never seen a musician do. Not only that, but he helps the roadies set up the equipment, a feat I’ve seen indie label bands avoid. Add that to the fact that the bend is such an excellent live band (something I didn’t expect), and you’ve got yourself a concert you’ll remember forever. That statement doesn’t even include the lasers, about 15 guys dressed like Santa Clause on stage left, an equal number of girls dressed up like “sexy aliens” on stage right, such vast quantities of streamers that the view of the stage was completely obstructed, a giant bubble Wayne used to walk and crawl across the audience, hand held smoke machines, an amazing collection of videos played on a screen behind the band, roadies dressed up like “superheroes” (Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Thor, The Flash, Space Ghost, Bat Girl) and about 100 giant yellow balloons bouncing like popcorn through the audience.

For a band that’s been playing since 1983 I was quite shocked to hear only two songs that predated 1999, those two being their biggest US hit, “She Don’t Use Jelly,” and a song Wayne didn’t think the band had ever preformed live before, Steven Drozd, the guitarist/ keyboardist, begged to differ, “You Have to be Joking (Autopsy of the Devil’s Brain),” off of Hit to Death in the Future Head. I have seen a couple of Flaming Lips set-lists, and it is rare they play anything pre-The Soft Bulletin, but I was hoping for old stuff, and I got it. The only thing that could have been better would have been in they played "Talkin' 'Bout the Smiling Deathporn Immortality Blues (Everyone Wants to Live Forever)," which is also off of Hit to Death in the Future Head, which I should mention is my second favorite Lips album (I won’t disclose my favorite, guess if you please), and therefore I’m biased towards songs from that album.

Anyway, the live aspect of their music made me realize what it is I have disliked in the two albums released after The Soft Bulletin, and that is they are too polished. The band is producing gloss when I want matte. Although Wayne has stated that the last three albums have all been products of the studio, it is only Yoshimi…and At War with the Mystics that feel like studio crafted albums. I feel as though I can’t fully describe what I’m trying to say without using vague terms such as “earthly,” “organic,” “live,” and “human,” to describe what they’re missing, so I won’t. However, all those terms were there when I saw the music performed live. At War with the Mystics could easily end up on my list of most disappointing albums of ’06, but the songs from that album were amazing live. Too often you see a band and think “damn that was a great song… on the album,” but not with these guys. (With sentences like that I feel as though I’m trying to sell the band, go ahead say it “The Guinness Tooth is a tool.”)

As you can see this isn’t your typical concert review, I didn’t tell you how long the set was, I didn’t tell you which songs they played, I didn’t even tell you to what effect the special effects were used, no, what I want to convey to you is the fact that The Flaming Lips do something no other major label band do. They connect with their audience, after 23 years, in the same way a bunch of teenagers in their first band try to. They have a true love for their craft, they want to create the most beautiful, the most sincere, the most spectacular concert possible. They want you to leave feeling like I felt. They want to be your best friend.

The Foot Guitarist

Do I know how to play guitar? Yes. Do I have arms? Yes. Does this guy know how to play Guitar? Yes. Does he have arms? NO! Check out this guy play guitar with his feet. Amazing.

Here's a link, the person who uploaded it on the YourTube disabled the embed function, but you need to watch it.

The Big E

Some for the delay, It's been difficult getting back into the swing of school, work and the real world.

Up until Saturday I'd never been. Every year people encourage me to go visit New England's largest fair, but it took me this long to visit. I don't see the point. There weren't enough animals there. When I go to fairs I like to look at freakishly large cows and swine, and I got neither. There were some normal sized cows, but now swine of any shape, size or variety. The food was over priced. I spent $6 on a small serving of the world worst fried green tomatoes. I know many of my readers hail from the northeast, and like my self probably aren't that familiar with this delicacy of the south. But, you need to know it is an amazingly light and refreshing food when prepared properly. My Atlanta born girlfriend, being a child of the south, has turned me on to this and many other southern foods. She has also shown me the correct way to prepare it, which is a lesson the people of the fair should pay attention too.

It wasn't all bad news. The Maine exhibit was delicious. I had a tasty lobster roll, and some smoked salmon on a stick that was to die for. There was also a GM exhibit of an old GM Futureliner. I also bought some tasty pickles from a booth in the Connecticut exhibit. They're spicy sliced pickles from a place in Fairfield called Mels' Hellish Relish.

Overall I had a good time at the fair. I plan upon going to another fair in October. This one is up in Maine and was featured near the back of the most recent issue of National Geographic Traveler. Apparently it's got some giant Oxen and Cows. And cotton candy made from maple syrup.

A final note. I had no idea there were so many "cowboys" in New England. I've always known Connecticut to be the least New Englandy of the New England States, but I had no idea cowboys and farmer folk were so prevalent. There's just something strange about a guy from Massachusetts wearing a cowboy hat, with super tight Wranglers, big boots, a giant belt buckle and a Carhartt jacket.

Today is my first day back in classes, I've been dreading this day for, uh, um, days?. I thought I had to go back to school this past Tuesday, I got ready, and then at the last minute saw I was scheduled to return today. I had spent Monday trying to get the most out of summer, in anticipation of my return to school. I went to Six Flags Over New England. My trip to Six Flags had one, and only one, purpose, to ride The Typhoon. A water roller-coaster. It was 75 degrees out, and because my lovely girlfriend wanted to go on this one ride, we made the trek to Six Flags to go to the water park! Don't get me wrong, I too wanted to go to Six Flags, but a water park in 75 degree weather is not fun. But, The Typhoon was fun, so we rode it twice. I nearly chiped a tooth from my teeth chattering.

In other news:
If you recall I had some issues trying to get tickets for Sunday's Flaming Lips concert in Boston. After Ticketmaste refused to sell me tickets because I didn't have an AmEx card, and then offered crappy seats I decided to skip the show. I've never seen the Lips, and really wanted to go, so I broke down and bought some tickets on ebay. It was too late for Boston, so I got tickets for the NYC show, through ebay. Two tickets for $104 (including shiping and insurance), which is less than what two tickets for Boston would have cost me via Ticketbastard. The best thing about it, is that the tix are GA on the floor. Thats better than anything I could've gotten for Boston. My girlfriend is happy to go, aside from the possibility of being surrounded by dirty hippies. If you've been a long time reader of my blog, or atleast since late June, you'll know I hate hippies. She fears being crowded in a small place with dirty people, regardless of thier hippie-ness, hippies just tend to be extra dirty.

Speaking of Hippies, I've think I may be starting to look like one. I'll be like one of those Self-Loathing-Jews, except I'll be a Self-Loathing-Hippy. Long hair (pulled up in a bun), and a scruffy beard, and Birkenstocks, all year, even in the winter.

more animals news (mostly good)

I didn't mention this earlier, because I wasn't sure if we were going to keep them, but I got 2 cats recently. They, a male and female (litter mates), showed up at my house about 10 days ago, and have been here since. They're young cats, the vet estimated them to be about 10 months old, and they're house cats. Because we didn't find any "missing cats" flyers around, and because no one claims to have lost cats in my area, we assume they've been abandoned. They are really great cats, and knew to use the litter box immediately (which just proved they were abandoned). The male was bitten on his left hip, so I took him to the vet for shots and anti-biotic's, the female will be checked out next week. I've never had cats before so this is really cool. Until I get them cleaned up and they have all their shots they have to stay in the basement/ garage, so they're biding their time out of sight for now, but soon they will arise from the depths to join the family. We've named the female Snowball, because she is white, and the male The Shadow because he is grayish silver or silvery gray, I'm not sure which one. I'll post pictures in the next few days.

In other animal news some sicko left a dead squirrel in my front yard Friday afternoon. I was leaving my house and saw a white towel balled up in my yard, and paid it no attention. About 40 minutes later my mom called me to tell me there was a dead squirrel in that balled up towel. I don't know if the person that put the squirrel killed it, put it in the towel and dumped it in my yard, or put it in the towel, killed it and dumped it in my yard; but I do know that neither one of those actions sound very wholesome to me. I really hope the squirrel was dead before it ended up in the towel. Binding an animal and then killing it, is just plain perverted. I hope whoever did that gets whets coming to them.

Bat Attack

As you may recall my car had a little run in with a bat back on the 26th of July, well the other night we had some more bat news. My family stumbled upon a dead bat on our porch. Damn that is a creepy little animal. The weirdest thing about it, is the way he had a smile on his face. And yes I know it was a he, you could see his little bat balls up close, although I don't think they're noticeable in the pictures. While we were trying to decide what to do with the bat it disappeared. We left it over night with the intention of burying it the next day, but it was gone. Apparently something ate it, we do have foxes and coyotes in the area, but it freaks me out to think they climbed a flight of stairs and came on to our porch to supper.

You can kind of see his smile in that picture, but the light was low and my hand unsteady so most of the pictures look like blurry crap.
This picture is a bit clearer, but as you can see it is upsidedown, but that's the way bats like it.




And here are some cute kittens to offset the dead bat.

Death of a planet.

Pluto you had a good run, but you are a planet no more. You have been demoted to some other sort of space rock. I am sorry, you were a planet for 76 years, that's better than the moon, and he's bigger than you. Perhaps sometime down the road in a more enlightened society we will recognize your beauty and grace once more, making you a planet for the ages.

Mazda's overboard.

I don't know how many of you read about the car carrier vessel that was in the process of rolling over in the northern pacific, so I'll update you. There is a very large boat, carrying about 5,000 Japanese vehicles, mostly Mazda 3 and CX-7 models, and it looked as if it were going to sink. See.


Well it looks like luck was on its side (no pun intended), because the vessel was able to safely make it to Wide Bay, Alaska. Although salvor work, the coast gaurd, and nautical mishaps are intriguing, what really got me were the pictures of the ship in harbour. They are absolutly breath taking, check 'em out, there are 36 of them. I'd love to join the coast guard and work at sea, but I just can't imagine putting my life of hold for about 4 years to do so. But, thats a story for another day.

As you can see above, inspite of the fact the vessel did make it safely to harbour, I would recomend against buying a Mazdaspeed 3 or Mazda CX-7 in th near future.

A couple of things.

I don't think I could imagine a worse weekend for the Red Sox. Loosing 4 straight to the Yankees? Two of those games they should have won, this is a disaster. I have never seen anything like it, at least not from the Red Sox. They are falling apart, along with my heart (sorry to sound sappy, but it's true). They're already 5 1/2 games back, and I don't see them making up that difference the way they're playing right now. Hell, they might as well throw in the towel.

--

It looks like the West African Black Rhino has gone extinct. I had assumed that after the last century and a half we had gotten out act together, and didn't allow for this sort of stuff to happen any longer. Perhaps I'm too optimistic, but I hope the same thing doesn't happen to the Northern White Rhino, of which there are only 4 known examples. I don't know how you can get a species to survive with enough genetic diversity with only 4 examples, but I hope it can be done. From what I've read it seems that political unrest is the main culprit behind the decline of both species.

--

Finally, it looks as if Steve Carell has at last made a funny movie. Little Miss Sunshine is damn funny. I can't stand Steve Carell, it seems as if everything he does is exactly like the last thing he did. The only two exceptions to that rule at the second season of The Office, and this movie. It took him a while to find his stride for The Office, but he did, and he is making it work. This movie is so well written that not even he can screw it up. The film is in limited release for the time being, but if you get the chance to go see it, and you like quirky films, take the time to find a theatre where it is showing. (Off Topic, sort of) Steve Carell will be starring in a forthcoming Get Smart film.

Future Jobs.

Although I've been happily self employed as a title search for the last 4 years (this month), I've been thinking of starting a new job, soon. I'm almost done with college, I have 1, 2 or maybe more years left, I've really got no idea. But, I won't let that slow me down. In order to better help me think of a future job, not carreer, I've made this list of things I'd like to do (mostly as a fantasy).

1. Drive a truck, a big 18 wheeler.
2. Be a flight attendant.
3. Work on a fishing boat.
4. Join the merchant marines.
5. Work at a radio station.
6. Drive a cab.
7. Tend bar.
8. Be a personal trainer.
9. Work in a music club.
10. Projector operator at a movie theatre.
11. That guy that uses the spotlight up in the rigging at a concert.
12. Anything at Disney.
13. Peanut/ Beer/ Pretzel guy at Fenway.


I'm sure there are others, and I may just add some more later, but those are the jobs I want. I just think most of those jobs would be fun, at least for a little while.

Disappointment.

Have you ever wanted something more than anything else in the world, only to either get it, or encounter it, and end up completely hating it? That happened to me today. I was standing outside my fathers office about to get in my car when a Lamborghini Diablo drove by.

Growing up, I had 4 posters on the walls in my bedroom. One featured a whole bunch of jets (not the football team), another a whole bunch of whales and other assorted cetaceans, another featured a Lamborghini Countach, but my favorite was my poster of a red Lamborghini Diablo. To me this was the greatest car ever. My dream was to be a pro baseball player so I could have enough money to buy a Diablo. I gave up baseball, I never gave up the dream of owning a Lamborghini, even if it wasn't the Diablo.

Back to the Diablo I saw today. I've seen plenty of cool cars on the road, including Lamborghinis. Just last autumn I saw a Miura and a Countach in the same day. I thought they both looked great. Everything about them was perfect. Even with though the Countach is one of the ugliest cars of all time, I loved it; because it's a good ugly, it's a wonderful ugly, it's the best ugly there is. Sadly the Diablo was just plain ugly. Something about it didn't tug on those heartstrings the way it did when I was 10. Not only did it look terrible, it sounded terrible. I know it has a massive V12 engine, but it sounded like farm equipment, it sounded like a Tractor. (And I'm not just saying that because Lamborghini started off as a Tractor company.) Nothing about the Diablo was as I wished it to be. Another dream down the drain.

PS: I'm pretty sure I also saw an Aston Martin DB2 (circa mid '50s) today, but that seems rather unlikely due to their rarity.

Thank You Very Much Mr. Thomas.

Not to sound like Jerry Seinfeld, but What's the deal with English Muffins? They're not even muffins. They are to muffins, what animals crackers are to regular crackers. But that is neither here nor there, my real problem has to do with the impossibility of separating the muffin in half. It is the only bread product that I know that requires the use of a fork to cut it in half? Why can't we just use a knife like with everything else?



As you can see I didn't have any luck with that muffin. I'd say a good 90% of my English Muffins end up looking like that or worse. I should talk to my grandmother; opening an English Muffin seems like the kind of thing a grandmother would be good at. (I know it is grammatically incorrect to end a sentence with "at" but deal with me here.) Regardless of their impossible nature, I will continue to eat English Muffins slathered in butter and then topped with Cloudberry jam. It's like dessert.

Sorry Baby Hitler.

If you were planning on raising you kid in Malaysia I hope you weren't planning to name you kid Adolf Hitler, or Stalin, because those names have been banned. Recently Malaysia has banned a number of names due to their "unsuitable" quality.

Some of the names on the list:
Adolf Hitler
Stalin
Ah Gong (unsound mind)
Chai Too (pig)
Kai Chai(chick)
Sum Seng (gangster)
Ah Kow (dog)
Karruppan (black fellow)
Zaniah (female adulterer)
Batumalai (stone hill)
Ah Kow (dog)

In addition to that you'll no longer be allowed to name you child after Japanese car companies, or car models. No more baby Honda, Suzuki, Toyota, or Nissan.
Numbers are also out of the question. Say goodbye to 007, 001, and K7.

Why would anyone want to give their kids these names to begin with? Could you imagine going home and having to tell your parents or in-laws that you named their grandchild Adolf Hitler?

I know many girls here in the states have already decided upon about 15 baby names by the time they reach the 5th grade, but do you think Malaysian girls are the same way? Is little Zaniah sitting there in primary school dreaming of a child named "Black Fellow" or "Gangster"? I hope not.

The Aficionado

*Sorry for the delay, I've been super busy, and I wanted this post to be JUST right.*


Have you ever received a gift that you hated at first? But then you fell in Love with it? Well I did this past Christmas. I was 20 at the time, and assumed my days of over the top Christmas' were over. I have 5 younger siblings, 3 of which are under 10, and I simply assumed their time had come. I was wrong. Sitting there Christmas morning, next to the Christmas tree, was a giant box, with my name on it. I thought it was just a big empty box with a little gift in it; perhaps a new iPod. What it was, was The Aficionado by Haier.



Initially I was disappointed. Why in the hell would I want a mini-fridge, even if it was a very large mini-fridge. But, I grew to love The Aficionado. It is like a child to me. I use it to keep things cool, or cold, and sometimes I even freeze stuff in it. Currently The Aficionado is close to empty. I have been neglecting her. As you can see in the photo it is lacking food. All I’ve got are beverages, condiments and jams.



Aficionado Inventory:
1 half empty 2 liter bottle of Polar brand Birch Beer
1 half empty bottle of Nantucket Nectar Lemonade
2 12oz Carlsberg
1 bottle of Domaine Ste. Michelle sparkling wine
1 bottle Wish Bone Romano Basil Vinaigrette
1 bottle Maple Grove Farms Asiago & Garlic dressing
1 jar of Lingonberry Jam, purchased at ikea
1 jar of Cloudberry preserve, purchased at ikea
4 bottle of Nestle water
1 roll of film

And that’s just what is inside The Aficionado, if we explore the surface we come across even more.

1 half empty bottle of Fresca
1 Campbell’s Soup at Hand
1 bottle Kikkoman brand soy souce
2 bottles of McCormick seasoning: Garlic Salt & Cilantro Leaves
840g of Beef Bullion cubes
1 Crystal Light packet
1 package of Lipton Pasta Sides: Alfredo
1 packet of developed film
There is also two cameras, a frog shaped Easter Basket, 7 lala envelopes, and a chopper.



Recently I thought I killed The Aficionado. I was relaxing in the black chair you can see in the photo, and I put my feet up on the white box next to The Aficionado, and suddenly it started making this horrible noise. I didn’t know what I had done, but I was convinced The Aficionado was dying. It wouldn’t shut up, it made this noise for about 15 minutes. And trust, even 15 seconds of this noise was enough to make you leave the room. When it did stop, it only did so briefly. I had to deal with the same noise on and off for about a week. Then one night (Sunday night) I was having trouble sleeping, it was one of those nights where you go in and out of sleep before you fall asleep for good. I finally did fall asleep, only to have The Aficionado wake me up after about an hour of sleep at 4am. I lost it. I was going to kill The Aficionado. I got out of bed in the dark, and was looking for this plug. I didn’t care about my food, errr, water and condiments, it had to stop. In the dark I couldn’t find the damn plug, and decided to just throw my shoulder into the side of the beast. It worked. The Aficionado shut up, and hasn’t made a peep since.



I hope that when I finally move out, which I hope will be soon, The Aficionado will find a place in my new place.

Don't forget to keep up to date with The Aficionado Here.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Throwin' Away The Hamiltons.

*I was going to post this earlier, but Blogger was acting up like a crack head on the 1st and 15th*


With family visiting from California we (the local family) needed something to do with them, and what better way to bond than with gambling. So we, (mom, 3 siblings, 2 aunts, 2 grandparents, 3 cousins, and 1 girlfriend), took a trip to Mohegan Sun.

I've never done well with gambling, and by never done well I mean the one time I blew through $40CAN in about 10 minutes while at a casino in Montreal. However, when you consider the exchange rate I may have actually come out ahead that time. Last night was no different. I signed up for the Mohegan Sun Players Club, and received a free $10 pre-paid AMEX card to spend anywhere at the casino, just not the gas station. (But gas was $3.99 a gallon, so I wouldn't bother anyway.) From there on it was down hill. I quickly went up $4.25, but even quicker I went down one Hamilton. Meanwhile my girlfriend was down $3.75 when she won $80 on a Monopoly Slot, and called it quits while $76 ahead. One of my cousins won about $100 on the tables, this was after being down $50, so she came out $50 ahead. I just got worse though. Before I knew it I was down $22. I figured it was time to quit, but then I started to win again, I was only down $19. That's when I called it quits. I used my free $10 on food, and I consider myself as only coming home down $9. Not bad for a fun night of gambling. Maybe next time won't loose.

On the bright side, my girlfriend will be treating me to Sushi for dinner tonight. Looks like I'm a winner after all, or at least that's what my mom always says.


I almost forgot to mention Kansas was playing a free concert at the casino while we were there. Before seeing them for all of 2 minutes, I almost forgot how much I hate Kansas. If I ever have to hear "Dust in the Wind" again I could kill a mid-westerner.

Don't Hassel the Hoff.

Check out this video. The best part is when he starts to dance infront of the shooting stars, and then the American flag.


I Love Kit!!

A Bat?

Two nights ago I was driving home, at around 11:45. I wouldn't say I live in a rural area, but it can be wooded. I see animals all the time, I saw a coyote earlier that day. I see deer on a regular basis, and dead raccoons and opossums are a regular sight on the side of the road. What I don't see often are Bats. Well I saw one the other night, and I was the last thing it saw. First the details. I was coming around a corner on a very secluded/ dark road, and what did I see in front of me? It was either a) a gigantic moth b) a retarded bird or c) a bat. I tried to slow down, thinking it would fly away as I got near, but it didn't. If you haven't seen a bat fly you need to realize how bad they appear to be at it when feeding. They fly very much like a moth, they are all over the place, and they look like they have no control over their direction. But, it only looks that way because they are flying around chasing bugs. When they are headed to or from their roost, they can fly just fine. Back to the story, I slowed down, but the thing didn't move, and before I could do anything about it C (the bat) whaped right into my bumper. Because of the area, I didn't want to go back to look for the bat, I just drove home (about 1/2 mile away), and checked for bat guts on my car. Thankfully there was none. I always thought it was strange when you'd see bird get hit by cars, but this takes the car. I don't think I've ever seen a dead bat on the road, or heard of one getting hit by a car.

Relief Lebanon *edited*

If you'd like to make a relief donation to those in Lebenon currently being terrorized by Israel you can do so here: www.relieflebanon.org.

New Blogs.

I've added two new blogs of interest. I'm pretty sure they're both run by the same guy. That guy also happens to be one of the contributing editors for Jalopnik, one of my other links of interest.

First you need to check out Hoopty Rides. This guy is awesome. He is to junk and flea markets as Logan Whitehurst is to music. I doubt you know who Logan Whitehurst is, so I'll describe this guy instead. He collects stuff, but not really. He just buys things that he thinks are cool, and then finds a purpose.

Check out the iPod Case he built from an old German police flashlight. If he mass produced, and sold these, I would buy one. It looks like it's straight out of 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea, with that porthole viewer.

Another iPod related creation is his MegaGiant iPod. I'm going to try and describe this, but you really should read about it on your own for a better idea of what it is. He took an old radio/ turn table cabinet, replaced the radio, installed an LCD monitor, a Mac Mini, a replacement turntable, a microphone, and a whole lot of other crap. He can control the iPod with the buttons that were supposed to be used for the pre-set stations on the radio. The thing is amazing. Once again, another item I would buy if sold to the public.

Jalopy Junktown seems to be more of the same. I has an odd collection of stuff; ranging from a piece on an old Dusenburg to 60's fashion. It's not nearly as entertaining as Hooptyrides, but it is a bit more intelligent. It has sociological commentary that is lacking from the other blog.

Check 'em both out, or at least check one of 'em out.

Sick of Summer.

I'm literally sick, and I blame the summer. I went hiking on Sunday, it was about 100 degrees (give of take 5), and have felt like crap ever since. The lymph nodes on the left side of my neck have swollen up. I have a sinus infection. Everything I eat makes me sick, yet I'm really hungry. I can't get enough food. Between Monday morning and Thursday morning I lost 6.5lbs. I've been sleeping really late because I'm weak from not having enough food in my system. My metabolism seems to be on overdrive; I eat, and within 45-60 minutes I'm hungry again. And, not for a snack, but another meal. The muscles in my jaw hurt, I try and avoid chewing on the left side of my mouth, and I don't open my mouth very wide. I have a tooth that feels like it's going to fall out when ever I step. There's other stuff too, I just can't remember it all. This is the most bizarre illness I've had in ages. Not to mention the fact my family hasn't had health insurance for the last 1-2 months, while my parents debate what plan we should get. I also don't have a general care physician. Since I've become to old for my pediatrician I've been to lazy to find an adult doctor.

All of the above is why I've more or less ignored my blog the last few days.

71 Years and Counting.

In case you were wondering, and I know you were, today is the 71st anniversary of the Parking Meter. I would like to say thank you to the great city of Oklahoma* for setting this burden upon the world. If you're anything like me, and I hope you're not, you've probably spent about $200, or so, on parking tickets in the last 24-30 months.

Thank You Oh Grandiose Meter Faerie.


Edit*: Just to clarify, OKC was the first city in the US to install parking meters.

We all hate ticketmaster.

I have never met a person with a single good thing to say about ticketmaster. I hate them. They are evil. They screw each and everyone of us every time we buy tickets. How is a $9+ "convenience charge" convenient?

I was trying to buy Flaming Lips tickets Saturday morning. I wanted to see them in Boston at the pavilion. I waited around until 10am, like the site said. Then at 10 o'clock what showed up? It was the American Express pre-sale. I had to wait about 10 minutes for that to pass before I was allowed to search for tickets. What did I come up with? About 40 rows back. No f-ing way am I going to spend $38.50 plus a $10 "convinence charge" for 40 rows back. The Flaming Lips are great, but not $50 for shitty seats. I seem to recall ticketbastard pulling this same shit when I went to buy Sigur Ros tickets a few months back. The least they could do is advertise the AmEx pre-sale.

The thing that really kills me is the lack of an alternative. Where else can someone buy tickets? Even if I went to a local Filene's or some shit like that I'd still have to play the "convinence charge." I really really wanted to see the Flaming Lips, but now I'm not going to, because of TicketBastard.

Sasquatch Update!

For those of you smart enough to check out the Messin' With Sasquatch Link you now need to check out Sasquatch's MySpace Account. Sasquatch also has a couple of friends, there is Owl, and Ghost Hiker (one of Sasquatch's victims).

Don't forget to check out each of their blogs and photo sets.

Finally!

Today my Google AdSense account finally reached the $100 level. I can't wait, in only a few short weeks I will have a $100 check in my hand. And for doing what? Nothing. I love you internet.

Feeding the Homeless.

Although I often claim the higher ground when it comes to issues involving the poor and downtrodden, I rarely ever do anything about it. I go on and on about the problems in Africa, and the lack help coming from NA and EU, but I don't do anything. The same goes for home grown problems. I didn't donate anything after Hurricane Katrina. I just it's just not in me to donate money to organizations I can't follow. I'd be willing to work in Africa, or would've helped out in New Orleans. I want to see where my money is going, and today I followed through on that. I bought a dirty old homeless guy lunch.

I had to walk past the guy a few times, going in and out of a store, and then back to my car. Each time he asked for change, and I said I didn't have any. (I really didn't have any.) Finally I was heading in for lunch and I told him I'd get him some change from that, and he asked if I'd buy him some food. I had some extra money and agreed. He wanted a well-done cheeseburger, not a problem. The guy was extremely grateful for the food. He said something to the effect of "Thank you so much, and God bless you." He then retreated into his alley hideaway.

My only fear is he will remember me. I remember him, he is always in the same area. I've seen him countless times, I've even given him a dollar or two before. I just don't want to have to avoid the guy in the future, in order to avoid buying him food on a regular basis.
















Not the actual homeless dude.

Messin' With Sasquatch!!!

I pray that you have seen these commercials on TV. After seeing the commercial entitled "Shaving Cream" I laughed and laughed and laughed. I have not laughed so hard, or so long after seeing a non-super bowl commercial in years (maybe ever).

You need to check out the website to see how much fun Messin' With Sasquatch can be.

While you're there you need to check out the commercials that were too hot for TV. And don't forget to play the game.

In case you missed it.

Syd Barrett, of Pink Floyd fame, has died. He was only 60. This guy is supposed to have been completely off his rocker. There were stories of him taking a shot glass of acid, and never coming off the high. How unfortunate, he really was an excellent musician.

Linky Link
Link Link II

World Cup Highlight.

We had to wait until the end of the final match of this years world cup to see the most entertaining play of all time. The Zinedane Zidane headbutt. This thing was classic, I was laughing my ass off the moment it happened. Never have I seen something so comical in the world of sports. I felt bad for the commentators, they had to play it off as something terrible and classless, when you and I both know they thought it was hysterical. I bet they were up in the booth laughing their asses off.

Check it out.


PS: It's a shame France lost, by the way. I really couldn't stand the Italian team, no other team spent as much time on the ground acting like pussies as they did.

Movie Theatre Freaks.

This weekend I went to see "Superman Returns" and "The Devil Wears Prada." I thought "The Devil..." was a better movie, but that's not what I came to write about: What I want to know is, why are movie theatre employees such freaks?

You know the people I'm talking about. The creepy foreign kid; the fat security guard with a mullet (and you just don't trust him with a side arm, why does one even need a gun in a theater?); the extra creepy old black janitor; the guy selling concessions that's in his late 30s, but still thinks he is really super cool and that all the ladies want him (also has mullet). That's just the employees, some of the patrons are even worse. When is this whole "goth kid" thing going to end? And, why do "Goth Kids" spend so much time in dirty malls, and dirty movie theatres? You know the kids I'm talking about, they never shop, they just hang out at the mall, but not the nice mall, the dirty one. (Were there too many commas in that sentence?)

The thing about the goth kids doesn't hold true for theatre employees, I can go to the nice art house theatre to escape the goth kids, I can't escape the creepy employees. I think they might actually be creepier at the smaller theatres, only creepy in a whole other, Toblerone obsessed, kind of way.

Happy 4th of July.

I'll be busy later today (it's currently 1:11am), and don't plan to post. So, Happy Independence Day.

Good Samaritan

Every now and then I feel the need to do something good for society at large. Today was one of those days where I felt a need to be a do-gooder.

I was driving along the highway, behind this old Dodge Caravan that looked like shit. The guy driving it was all over the place, swerving left, then right, accelerating, decelerating. Pretty much he was doing everything that would lead someone to believe the driver was drunk. I followed him down an off ramp that led to another highway, and passed him at the end. While passing him I looked over and the dude's eyes were shut. Typically good driving requires open eyes. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and drove on. I looked in my rear view mirror and he almost took out this old woman in Volvo while changing lanes. I didn't see the guy use a turn signal once, and he made appox. 25-30 lane changes in about 5 minutes. He then came hurdling past me at about 100mph (in an effin' minivan!!!). Then he went off the left side of the highway into the dirt, and then came back on the road.

At that point I was freaking out, and wanted to run this guy off the road (for safeties sake). But, I figure I was better off calling the cops. I dialed 911, told them where we were, the make and model of his car, and what he was doing. I then got off the next exit (he kept going), figuring job well done.

Thirty to forty minutes later I was driving home (backtracking), and what do I see? Four squad cars surrounding the same minivan. The crazy thing is, in order for him to get where he was, he would have had to go to the next exit and back track about 10 miles. I find it really hard to believe this guy made it that far. He was driving with his eyes closed, and obviously drunk.

How many times have you seen an asshole on the highway, and prayed he'd get pulled over, but never actually have a way to find out. I know I feel that way nearly everyday. I guess today was my lucky day.

Tour de France doping scandal.

Is anyone else as pissed off about this whole thing as I am? Ulrich? Basso? Manceba? Beloki? Is there any high profile rider not implicated? Even Vinokourov is being punished by this scandal. The guy is clean, but his whole fucking team is pulling out. I don't like this guilty until proven innocent crapola. Let them ride, if anything comes up, pull 'em mid-race.

The one up side is that the entire race has just opened up. I have no idea who is going to win, I don't even know who is going to do well. There are some "favorites" according to the various sports news agencies, but none of these favorites have done anything spectacular at this level.

Who's left?
Floyd Landis is getting some press.
Alejandro Valverde was praised by Armstrong as being the man to beat in future tours, lets see how he does.
Cadel Evans has done well in recent years, he could be the first Australian to win.

I'm really not sure who else stands a chance.


One thing I'm really hoping for is a non-American win. An American has one 10 of the last 20 races. And this is a sport Americans don't even care for. It'd be like if we dominated the FIFA World Cup. Another interesting thing about the last 20 races is: Lance Armstrong has won 7 of them, Miguel Indurain has won 5, and Greg LeMond has won 3, between them that's 75% of the last 20 years of Le Tour de France. I think a nice spat of one time winners would be nice.

I have one last thing to say about Le Tour.

They call Soccer "The Beautiful Game." Games are for children and the weak. Sports are for men, which is why cycling is "The Beautiful Sport."

Go Buy This.

I recommend anyone that is a history buff (like myself), go out and pick up the latest issue of Time. It has Teddy Roosevelt on the cover, and is almost entirely dedicated to him. It's not world class history, but it gives you a great picture of this man's life. This is possibly the first issue of Time I've read cover to cover in at least 5 years, if ever. So often these magazines are filled with pointless BullShit. There are stories covering every aspect of his life, from almost dying in the Amazon, to being the most successful third party presidential candidate ever. He tried doing a lot of things that were ahead of his time. Most importantly he is responsible for our national park system.

Also on page 60 is one of my all time favorite photographs. It's by Jacob Riis, and called Bandit's Roost. I'm sure you'll recognize at least one or two of his photos. Children Sleeping in Mulberry Street is another one of his famous photographs, and is prominently displayed on the site linked to his name.

I hate haircuts.

Yesterday I went to have my hair trimmed, I hate it. I don't dislike the haircut, I just hate having to have it cut. My disdain for haircuts has gone to the extreme, I avoid them. If you scroll down you'll notice my post about my beard, and you'll see the length of my hair. A few years back I came up with this great system to minimalize dealing with my hair. I'd let it grow to a length between my chin and shoulders, then cut, rinse and repeat. That worked for a while, until I realized I was causing myself an unnecessary hassle. I hated having to style my hair while it was at that short length. So I decided to simply leave it long, but now it needs to be trimmed more often. A nice toupee would be nice. I'll just have electrolysis done to my head, and then wear a wig. I really really hate styling my hair, it ranks up there with shaving my face as one of the worst aspects of life. I suppose life is good when those are two of my top problems. But, they are annoyances nonetheless. I just don't ever want to touch my hair, I'd shave my head, but that'd lead to a whole 'nother set of problems.

Fast Day on the Highway.

In keeping with my recent barrage of car related posts, I had a pleasant day on the highway today.

We have this highway in Connecticut called the Merrit Parkway if you are traveling north, the Wilbur Cross Parkway if you are traveling south, and if you are traveling north of Meriden, it is known as the Berlin Turnpike. Regardless of the direction, it is Rt. 15. I suppose all that can be confusing for someone not in the area, but let me continue.

The highway is a wonderful highway, with no trucks or trailers allowed. The entire thing is two lanes, and can be quite windy at certain sections; this is why no trucks are allowed. It is one of the oldest modern highways in the nation, and is nationally recognized as something or other.

Have you ever had one of those days on the highway where everybody around you is driving 80+mph, and it is no big deal? I had one of those days, and it was wonderful. I love it when everyone can drive safe at high speeds. Too often there are groups of people that want to drive 55mph, while everyone else is trying to do 75+mph, but not today. It was quite relaxing to be free to drive at a highspeed without worrying about slow people.

The other day I heard a commercial on the radio that was a petition to have an American Autobahn. I got sooooo excited to have someplace where people would be allowed to drive at extreme speeds, but then at the end of the commercial my hopes were dashed. Turns out they were tricking me, and they were selling tires or something. Bastards!!!!

The funny thing is that some days I love a slow highway just as much if not more than a fast highway. The days where everybody is doing the opposite of the above mentioned can be just as enjoyable as the fast days. Driving 55 is not an issue so long as you're not in constant competition with the jackass trying to pass you on the right at 80, and weaving in between cars.

As long as I get where I want to be without having to deal with idiots, I'm happy.



I don't expect anybody reading this to be at all amused by my day of driving, nor do I expect you to even care. I just needed something to wright about, and this was on my mind. 'Till tomorrow (or whenever).

Time to Sell

Well I went down to pick up my car Friday afternoon, and pay $1,300+ for repairs, that I didn't know I needed. That left a sour taste in my mouth, and I shall now be moving on to greener pastures. Yesterday the sign went up. I will be selling the first ever car I bought, with my own money. Tis a sad day. I love(d) that little blue hatchback. You will be missed *empties 40oz on the ground*.

I think I'll either be replacing it with another, newer, Golf or going brand new, and buy a Rabbit. I took a Rabbit for a test drive on Friday, and the vehicle is more than capable of replacing my current car. I'm going to wait until August when the '07 Rabbit comes out, then I'll decided. The '06 was only offered in Gray & Black, neither of which are colors I want on a car.


Update: My Car on Craigslist

Fricking cars.

This morning I brought my car ('00 VW Golf) into the local dealership to have the blower fan serviced. That's the fan that blows either hot or cold air into the cabin. Well they called me back a few hours later to tell me that I have other problems. I have two leaks in my coolant system, some boot on my right front strut is damaged, and I had a muffler bracket in need of welding. Ok not a big deal, right? Wrong. Blower fan = $600, Strut Book thingy = $350, Coolant leak = "about $905," Muffler bracket = I didn't ask. So I'm not even getting my blower fixed, the coolant and boot thingy are more important, and I can't afford to fix all three (or four). So it's costing me about $1,300, and I'm not even getting the thing fixed that I went in for.

No vacation for me this year. I was going to spend a week back packing in Vermont with my girlfriend. But the cost of supplies was adding up, and I need to return a bunch of crap just to pay for the car. I just want to curl up and weep.

Vermont Independence

I've been a long time supporter of Independence movements of all varieties. Be it deserved as in the case of the Basque in northern Spain and southern France, or the not so deserved in the case of the Welsh (sorry Welsh people).

Yesterday I was poking around Wikipedia and I came across a movement within Vermont to regain(??) independence. I don't know what shocked me more, the fact that Vermonters want a nation on to their own?, or that they actually were an independent republic at one point. This doesn't even include the shock dealt to me when I saw the original name of the nation was the Republic of New Connecticut. But, forget about that, lets get down to the meat of the idea.

In 1776 Vermonters led a successful rebellion against Britain, New York and New Hampshire, and declared themselves independent in January of 1777.

In 1791 Vermont voluntarily joined the United States as a counterweight to the admission of slave holding Kentucky.

In 2003 Thomas Naylor formed a movement to secede from the US. The movement is support by 8% of the population according to VermontRepublic.org. Which, the same site claims, is the highest rate of secessionist leanings of any US state. Even higher than that of the other two nations the US annexed, the Republic of Texas, and the Kingdom of Hawai'i.

Enough history and stats, I want to tell you why I support this movement. I don't like new age hippies. I can't stand patchouli smelling, dreadlock wearing, bare foot, phish fans. Don't get me wrong, there are hippies I like, but on a personal level. I don't like hippies as a group. For that reason I would love for Vermont to be independent. I'm sure hippies would flock there like flies on shit, only smelling worse. Think of all the Netherlands-esqu laws they would enact. Living just down the river from them, I'm sure the weed would be making its way down (not that I condone such behavior, I just think marijuana should be legal). Vermont as a nation would be free to make all the cheese, and ice cream their little hearts desire. I could always go visit for the skiing. Not only that, but as I stated above, I love the idea of small break away nations. I was behind the Quebecois in their effort for independence. I was saddened when they failed. I would support Newfoundland and Labrador if they chose to secede as well. It's not just Canadians I support. I support Texan independence, but that's because I don't like Texas (and that has nothing to due with GW Bush), and I just don't like the state. I'd support Scottish independence from the UK, Greenlandic and Faroese independence from Denmark, Basque independence as stated above, Catalan independence from Spain, Chiapas' independence from Mexico, Tibetan independence from China, Kurdish independence from Iraq and Turkey, Flemish and Wallonian independence from Belgium, Corsica - Brittany - Alsace Loraine and Normandy from France, Bavaria from Germany, and not mention just about anything in Africa. None of those African borders mean anything, just let everyone break up.

In addition to my distaste for hippies, I would also take advantage of the situation by moving to Vermont prior to independence. In doing this I would gain Vermont citizenship, and yet retain my American citizenship, and would finally have my long desired dual-citizenship.

I know very little of this is realistic, but I can dream can't I?


The official flag of the Republic of Vermont.

Thank You Jalopnik.

Jalopnik is a blog run by the Gawker Media. It is an invite only blog, in that you can read it all you like, but you cannot comment with being invited to do so. Today, after 7 months, I was given an invitation to comment. This is excellent news for me, I just need to be careful and not over-comment, I don't want to abuse the priviledge. In order to achieve the status of invitee, I have periodically sent in tips, and comments through the tips e-mail address. I was not overly aggressive, and I didn't harass, and it paid off for me. Thank You Jalopnik.

I now have the ability to comment on any one of the Gawker Media blogs. Including:
Jalopnik: For cars, Wonkette: For Politics, Fleshbot: For Porn, Gizmodo: For Electronis, and a whole bunch more.

Hello Canada

Let me tell you a little story about my brother Cody.



He went to Montreal with a few of his friends this weekend (Thursday-Sunday), and in a style all his own, managed to have his wallet, cell-phone and SHOES stolen. I have no idea why anyone would want his shoes, but they did. Due to the fact none of you know my brother, you don't have any idea how funny this is. Cody is a kid (19) that looses everything. Or at least he had for a while. I haven't misplaced sneakers in years, yet I can recall Cody loosing sneakers as recently as this past winter. Cody has little locater buzzers jammed in his wallet, and glued to the back of his cell-phone, because he looses them so often. I love my brother, as I should, but I can't help to think it is hysterical that at 19 years old he is still dealing with problems I haven't dealt with since I was in the 5th grade. I have no idea how he is so damn forgetful.

From what he relayed to me he was swimming at the hotel pool, where he was staying, and left his wallet and phone inside of his sneakers by the side of the pool. At some point someone managed to simply walk along and take his stuff, which is truly unfortunate. This was Friday morning, and left him with no ID, and no money. I had told him, more than once, to bring his passport. I know they aren't required to cross the border, yet, but they will be soon, and I figured better safe than sorry. But, he didn't listen to me, and now he didn't have any form of ID, and who knows what kind of trouble he'd have at the border. Not to mention the lack of any money. And now for the good news...

In a stroke of genius, I decided to contact Cody's cell phone. I sent a text message that went something like this, "Hey Assface, Quebecois, give my bro his stuff back." As you can see with heaps of charm and cultural tolerance I fully expected this person to turn around, and return Cody's belongings. <<---Sarcasm (in case you missed it). But, to my surprise I got a phone call Saturday morning from a girl wanting to give Cody his phone back. She wasn't the one who had taken the stuff, or so she claimed, but she did have his phone. She said she found it in a bar. I gave her number to my mother, who in turn gave it to Cody, who then called the girl, met up with her, and received his cell phone. She didn't have an accent, and claimed to be a college student, which leads to me assume she wasn't French Canadien (<-- notice the French spelling), and possibly wasn't even Canadian. Perhaps she dislikes the Quebecois, perhaps she was just being nice. Who knows? What I would like to do is say thank you Canada. First you gave us Fries with Gravy, which I'll never stop loving you for. Then you gave us the McKenzie brothers, with I stoped loving you for years ago. And, now, in an act of karma never before seen from someone called assface, you returned my brothers cell phone.

Best of Both Worlds (as sung by Van Halen)

Seeing as my AC is not working in my car, I feel it is imperative that I do something to cool me off whilst driving. First, I've decided to wear only shorts for the time being. I don't like shorts, I like pants, so this is a tough decision for me. Second, I've decided to shave what was amounting to be my first "real beard." I've grown out my facial hair a few times over the last 4 years or so, but I've never let it get any longer than about 3/7s of an inch. Up until yesterday, I was looking at close to 5/8s, and lovin' it. But, I had to do it, it was too hot. My neck was always getting sweaty, and grossing my out. Which left me conflicted. I wanted to have the beard, and I also wanted to remove it. I got it. Half a beard.



I doubt this look will last long, I'm not a big fan of fancy facial hair. I always get annoyed when I see guys with sculpted face pub's. It's a rather simple concept, you have a few options. Side Burn, Mutton Chops, Full Beard, Neck Beard, Goatee, Fu-Man Chu, Mustache (of varying styles, Hitler to Rollie Fingers, everyone is included), or northing. See it's not hard, we don't need to see people with those chin strap things. They are about 4 hairs thick, seems too much trouble to me. Thanks enough me. I've got to go to work and drive my un-air-conditioned car for a couple of hours.

Why Today?

So last Thursday the fan that blows either hot air or the AC out of the vents in my car shorted out, not a big deal (it was in the 70s that day). Today it was almost 90 f-ing degrees out. Holy shit is that hot when you don't have AC. I had to drive with the windows down, but the wind was so strong it hurt my left eye, and I had to drive with one eye open. In addition to that, the speakers on the right side of my car seem to be craping out. The car is 6 years old, and I cannot imagine they should be this bad this quickly. I need a new car, I've had the car for just over 2 years, and I've put on about 73,000 miles total. That is about 36,500 miles per year. I want to lease a car, but I've never heard of a lease that allows for close to 40,000 miles annually. Oh well, I'll just drive it until it dies.


PS: The Red Sox just lost to a walk off Grand-Slam in the bottom of the 12th!!! WTF?