D'oh

bring the rain

Taxes, Travel & Jury Duty.

Nothing pisses me off like the government wasting tax dollars on frivolous things, unless its me they're wasting money. And things get even better when they're not my tax dollars being wasted, but rather Dieter & Gunter's Euros being wasted on me. That's right, the oh so precise Germans are giving me free money. Yay. I'm getting 1500euro from the state Baden-Württemburg.

Speaking of Germany, I booked my flight yesterday and I will be departing on the evening of September 2nd. I won't be coming back until May, and then only for a 4 day weekend.

I had Jury Duty yesterday, and although I only was there 4 hours it was the most soul sucking experience in recent memory. As the bumper stickers say, "Never Again."

Why I love the Tour

This weekend the world's greatest sporting event that is not baseball began in London. Le Tour de France is something I look forward to watching every year, and I hope to watch in person next year. An incident today reminded me of one of the many things I love about the tour. In no other sport at this level of competition is the fan placed in such close quarters to theathlete . One of the riders was riding through his hometown, so he took a break to say hello to family and friends. You can't do that on a ball-field, or a hockey rink, or out the window of a stock car, but you can on a bike. LaurentLefevre rode out ahead of the peloton to meet with his family, and in respect to the great honor of riding through his home town the entire mass of competition slowed down to around 20mph and allowed him to catch up when the time came. Despite the constant barrage of doping allegation Cycling is still one of the most dignified sports around.

Hey Nerds. Go watch Transformers.

It's unfortunate, but I can almost guarantee you that these 7 Transformers were left out of the movie. Maybe they'll turn up in the sequel.

Man Skills Vol. 2

As you may recall I recently listed some my most embarrasing male deficiencies. I've set about to correct as many of those as possible. Now I'm not going to learn how to disassemble and reassemble a Chevy small block anytime soon, I did learn how to drive a stick today. It took me long enough, but now I can check that off my list.


Thursday I also mentioned seeing a guy pass-out, I figure I'll explain that little bit of awesomeness in more detail. I was at school for a meeting, and while walking down the hall I saw a kid sitting on the ground, looking really wan. The next thing I know his eyes rolled backwards and he slammed his forehead into the ground and then slid across the floor. I was surprised that his head did no bounce. I told someone in the nearest office to call 911, and then I went to my meeting. I probably should have stayed, but I was running late, and there were other people streaming out of offices and classrooms to help the kid.

Man Skillls.

I was going to tell you about the guy I saw pass-out and smack his head into the ground yesterday, but then I read these two blog entries and decided to treat you to some hallway horror stories Friday instead.

I've recently come to the conclusion that I've lived a much too coddled life. I can't do so many of the typical "man" things. I can't fix cars. I've never even changed a flat tire (never had to, AAA). I don't know anything about electrical wiring. I remember being in elementary school with kid that would build their own radios from junk lying around the house. I can't do much as far as wood working goes. I have built a couple of bird houses, a cutting board, and some other junk, but nothing working writing home about. I have told my girlfriend recently that I want to build a bat box, you know for bats. I hate bugs, and I want as many bug eating bats in my back yard as possible. The thing I'm most ashamed of. I cannot drive a car with a manual transmission. I've never had to. My dad drove a VW GTI with a stick until I was about 12, but since then only my brother had owned a car with a stick shift. I could, and will, ask him to show me, but I haven't had the time.

All that is bad enough, but I don't dwell on it. I'm sure that I could go my whole life without needing many of those skills, but I'd rather not. I want to build things. That's where these blog entries come in.

The first one is about a guy that took a stuffed cat, and wired into this old Police Interceptor so that the lights he put in the cats eyes would single when he turns. Check it out here.

The second one is the same guy building a 92lbs boombox from old car parts he found at a junkyard. They've included a video to whet your appetite before you read the how-to on the blog entry.

Deftones, Lupo's, Providence Rhode Island, 6/6/07

If there are two things the Deftones do well it is write and record amazing albums, and play extremely disappointing concerts. This was the third time I've seen the band. It is also the last. I understand that the bands first two albums were very heavy affairs that did little to separate them from the pack of other nu-metalers. However, since then they have put out three excellent albums that sounds almost nothing like their early stuff, in a good way. The first hour of the show I recognized maybe 3 songs (and I have all 5 of their albums), even the songs I knew I didn't recognize until well into the song. I was ready to leave the show after the first 30 minutes. I stuck it out, and the second half of the show was marginally better than the first. If I hadn't driven almost 2 hours to get to Providence I would have left. Had the show been in New Haven or Hartford I would have gone home. I just want to band to play the songs they write. If they want to continue playing only the really heavy stuff, then they should go back to recording the really heavy stuff. Is it too much to ask for a band to play the music off the album they are supporting? I think they played 5 songs from Saturday Night Wrist. If I told you half the songs came from the first two albums, I don't think I'd be exaggerating. I will not pay more than $18 in the future to see this band. That's right, I won't even pay $20. Speaking of $20, for that amount of money you could buy a pre-signed copy of SNW.

New Metallica

I don't know what to think of this. It is a lot better than anything off of St. Anger, which is a pretty easy task if you ask me. I could write a better album that St. Anger. But, it doesn't really sound like Metallica. I know this song, and another have been floating around on the internet for a while, but this is my first listen.

Blog wants to show Lexus the difference between a car and porn

Lexus has sued two pornographers for running a porn site featuring a character called "Lexus Cash" for fear it dilutes their brand. The auto blog Jalopnik is starting a campaign to make certain people won't EVER get confused. ;)


I signed up for Digg a little while ago, and I've been wanting to try this "Blog It" feature for a while. This seemed like a good place to start.



read more | digg story

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Avalon Ballroom, Boston. 5/29/07

The best concert I’ve ever been too? No. The best club show I’ve ever been to, maybe. I love this band. This is the third time I’ve seen Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, and each time is better than the last. This is a band that needs to be seen live to be appreciated. I had their first two albums, and I thought they were good, but nothing special. But, when I did see them live I was blown away. Robert Levon Bean is the most fun to watch bassist I’ve ever seen, and they rest of the band is just as talented. If you haven’t heard these guys it’s difficult to describe their sound. It’s equal parts folk, punk and shoegazer. That’s actually a really bad description, but I don’t care.

The last couple of times I’ve seen this band I’ve gotten there early, and the venues have been empty. Last time I saw them was in Northampton and I think it was a Sunday night. The venue was pretty damn empty. I think there may have been 80-120 people there. They were touring for Howl, which was an album that went a lot of different ways with fans, but I loved it. For that show I was right up front, close enough to smell the bass guitar. If you play guitar, especially a semi-hollow body, you know the scent. Tuesday night was different. The venue was packed. It may have been a sellout crowd, but I cannot confirm that. I didn’t get there as early as I wanted to, but I still ended up with a great spot to watch the show, behind a row of really tiny camera wielding Asian girls (I’ll get to this later). I was about 5-8 feet back from the center of the stage.

The band came on the stage at 9:05 and went straight into the lead track from Baby 81, “Took out a Loan.” They followed that with “Berlin” before moving onto some older tracks. The new album is to date my favorite album of the year. I’ve been listening to it non-stop. The only album that’s come close to getting as many listens has been the new Jarvis Cocker record. The band played a lot more tracks from B.R.M.C. than I had anticipated, but still managed to cover most of Baby 81. They only played four tracks from Howl, two of which were Peter Hayes on solo acoustic guitar. Some songs off the new album that just bled me away were “Lien on your dreams” “Windows” (although Peter botched the solo a bit it seemed), and “American X.” Remember those camera toting asian girls I mentioned before?, well this is where things get interesting. During “American X” Peter and Robert switched instruments, with Peter on bass and Robert on guitar. While Robert was singing and playing guitar the Asian girls went crazy taking pictures non-stop. They had been doing it the whole show, but with the members switching the side of the stage that they were on it got to Peter. During a lull in the song he reached out to try and snatch one of the girls cameras. She had the wrist strap on and was able to fight it from him, but you’d think he made his point. Nope. They kept taking pictures, eventually Peter walked back over to them and put his boot over one of the camera’s like he was going to stomp on it. They finally stopped. The song ended and Peter went up to them, and appeared to ask them to stop taking pictures, he was obviously angry at this time. He and Robert once again switched instruments and the band went into “All You Do Is Talk” which sounds like it could have been written by U2, or maybe Coldplay trying to sound like U2. I think it’s the best song they’ve ever written, from a pop-song point of view, at the least. If they could write entire albums like this the music critics would hate them and they’d be the biggest band since U2, or is that Coldplay again!?! This was the bands last song. They hadn’t done a proper encore, but what they had done was play their main set, then an acoustic set (with Peter doing 2 songs off of Howl, and Robert doing “Mercy” off of the Howl Sessions ep), then they came back out and did “American X” and “All You Do is Talk.”

I thought they were done. The house lights came up, and the PA started to play typical house music. But the audience didn’t stop, we kept clapping and cheering, and I could see the set list, there were no more songs listed. After what seemed like 5 minutes I saw a roadie run back stage and then the band came out. Peter’s guitar appeared to be packing stuff up, I saw him coiling cables and it looked like he was tearing down the gear. If this was all a put on, they did a great job making it seem like the real deal. If it wasn’t a put on, this was the first time in my life a band has ever come back on stage after the house lights came up and PA music started playing. The band did 4 more songs, all of which where requests. The first of which was “High/Low” an old b-side, and the remainder were all off of Take Them On, On Your Own. Before playing “High/Low” Robert commented on how they hadn’t played the song in years and he doubted his ability to remember the lyrics. He also had to consult with the band, Nick Jago and Peter if they remembered it. I was trying to request the song “Screaming Gun” which is probably my favorite BRMC song ever written. I know Robert heard me, because he told us to stop requesting such obscure tracks, and then asked Peter is they could play it, which they couldn’t. During the last three songs and dance pit type thing even opened up. It wasn’t a mosh pit, it was just a bunch of guys and a couple of girls jumping around rocking out to one of today’s best rock bands. Because that’s what these guys are, one of the best rock bands around. They’ve done their pseudo-shoegazer thing, they’ve made a folk record, they’ve made an almost punk record, and now they’ve made an angry rock record, which is exactly what a rock record should be.

Second Career.

Ever wonder what kind of money you could make performing the world's oldest profession? SexEc has a handy price indicator to tell you just what you can expect for your time... and body.

If I were to work out of NYC I would go for around $220 and hour, my national average would be down at bit, at $203 an hour.

Ricky Gervais, WaMu Theatre NYC. 5/19/07

Last week I mentioned a performance by AIR as part of David Bowie’s Highline Festival. Saturday night was the conclusion of the charity festival; it was also the highlight with the first North American performance by Ricky Gervais. If you don’t know who Ricky Gervais is yet, I feel sorry for you. He’s best known for The Office, which was a BBC smash, and is often considered the best comedy of the decade. The Office has been so successful that remakes have been made in the US, Quebec, France, and Germany, with a slightly less direct remake being aired in Norway. He is also known for Extras, which is currently in between seasons on HBO. Gervais is also one of three people behind the most successful podcast in the history of podcasting. Gervais has also written a number of children’s books as part of a series titled Flanimals. Enough about his history.

The show took place at what was formerly called The Theatre at MSG, but as of last week is now called WaMu Theatre. That name really rolls of the tongue. There wasn’t a full opener, but around 8 pm Gervais came over the PA and announced “Ladies and Gentlemen… David Bowie.” At which point Bowie came out to perform the song he performed* on the last season of Extras. The crowd loved it. Bowie left the stage and then introduced Ricky Gervais.

Ricky Gervais came out to perform for about 70 minutes. His topics included making fun of Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, victims of Pol Pot, Anne Frank, teenage cancer victims, bestiality, homosexual incest and others I cannot recall. The show was about as far from being politically correct as is humanly possible. I love every minute of it. Ricky has a very casual style of stand up. He would often mumble and interact with the audience. He definitely came across as an everyday asshole. I can only hope he returns to America for more performances in the future.

*

Ryan Adams & The Cardinals: Kingston NY, May 16, 2007.

Have you ever been to a concert where the performer sat in the dark for the entire performance with a hood pulled tight over his head and sunglasses o? And I quite literally mean sat in the dark. Well I did Wednesday night. I saw Ryan Adams & The Cardinals in some shit hole of a town in the Hudson valley, and while the music was less than spectacular the venue and town were even worse. I understand it that when you are a musician and you have a new album coming out that you want to perform tracks from that album. What I don’t get is refusing to tell the crowd why you are not playing guitar (sprained wrist) or informing us which songs are new, and which aren’t. That last claim might seem odd, Ryan Adams is one of my favorite musicians, I have all of his albums, and I should recognize his songs. I didn’t. Because of his sprained wrist the band could only play songs that required one guitar, which mean they played acoustic. Ryan took his saddest, slowest and most maudlin songs, and then made them sadder, slower and more maudlin. After about fifty minutes I was on the verge of falling asleep. For the first time in my life I had my eyes closed and my head bobbing at a concert. Then he played “Down in a Hole” by Alice In Chains. And for some crazy reason that perked me up. I’m in the audience for one my all time favorite musicians, and bored to death when he plays a track by a band that I don’t even like that much and it turns out to be the highlight of the show. Then he left the stage, after less than an hour. He came back to play two songs from Cold Roses, which the band stretched out to last almost 20 minutes. I’m glad the show was as short as it was. I don’t think I could have taken more of his country music. I know he is an “alt-country” musician, but I prefer it more “alt” than “country” songs. The best thing about this show was that it wasn't a normal show. When I finally get around to seeing a normal Ryan Adams show I can look back at this one as something special.

Short List

I have this list of bands that I would love to see, but just haven't had a chance to do so. To be on my list the band must be either actively together, or on hiatus, no break-ups allowed. Every now and then I get to take one of those bands of the list for one of two reasons. Either I do get to see the band perform, as in the case of Air and Arcade Fire last week, or the band breaks up, as in the case of New Order last week.

According to a radio interview (and confirmed on his myspace page*) Peter Hook said last week that he and "Bernard [Sumner] aren't working together." This is terribly disappointing. New Order are one of my all time favorite bands. At least my list is shorter by three bands in one week.

More good news includes the fact that no one has been able to corroborate this statement. Maybe he's just talking out of his ass.

*Billboard article.

New Order live in New York 1981.

AIR, The Theatre @ MSG, NYC. 5/10/2007

Good week for “A” bands, first Arcade Fire, and now AIR. Like Arcade Fire, I had not seen AIR prior to last night. It was an excellent show. They had TV on the Radio open for them, which seemed odd. TVOTR (as I’ll abbreviate it), is very much a reggae rock band, which did not fit so well with AIR’s modernist interpretation of 70s electronica. I liked the guy’s voice, and that counts for something.

The show was part of the newly founded Highline Festival. The Highline was co-created by David Bowie, this years “curator.” From the press I’ve read there will be a different curator each year, and it is the curators job to chose the talent. In addition to AIR, Bowie has scheduled performances by Arcade Fire, Björk and Ricky Gervais, amongst others.

This concert was the first time I attended a show at the MSG Theatre, and I liked it. As awesome as old theatres are to look at, they are uncomfortable, hot, lacking concessions and feature inadequate restrooms. This theatre had none of those problems. Not only that, but I doubt there is a bad seat in the house; the whole place looks very well laid out.

On to the music.

I don’t know the names to many AIR songs. I know which songs I enjoy (most), and I could point them out if we were listening to a CD, otherwise I’m clueless. To fill in the gaps I’ll give a little background on AIR. AIR is an acronym for Amour, Imagination, Rêve, which translates to Love, Imagination, Dream. The band has two members, Jean-Benoît Dunckel and Nicolas Godin, each of whom are quite skilled on various instruments. Live Dunckel plays primarily keyboards and synths, while Godin plays guitar and bass. It is Godin’s bass playing that steals the show. His bass signal is processed and put through effects to make it sounds just as obtuse as Dunckel’s Moog.

Most of the songs played were drawn out beyond the length of their recorded counterparts, featuring both Dunckel and Godin improvising along with the rest of the band. They played for about 55 minutes before taking their encore break. They came back and played for another 15 minutes or so. The last song, whose title I do remember, was La Femme d'Argent which clocks in at around 7 minutes on the album Moon Safari came in at over 10 last night. The song was the highlight of the show, with Dunckel playing a very impressive synth solo. A majority of the songs played seem to have come from Moon Safari, which is interesting when you realize it was the groups first album, and they have released 4 more since then. One of my favorite parts of the show was that they played a set list for fans, not an LCD (least common denominator) set list that most bands will play. I was surprised by the fact that they played so few of the songs that you would thing of as being “hits,” not that they actually had any hits per se. It was a good surprise though. My one complaint was that $46 seemed a steep for a 75-minute concert (including encore break).

Arcade Fire: United Palace Theatre, NYC. 5/5/07

Monday night was not only the 1st time I’ve seen Arcade Fire, but it was the first time I’ve ventured into Harlem in at least a decade. There’s something I like about Harlem. It feels like a real city. I know it’s part of Manhattan, but it feels like another world when you compare it to the rest of the island. But, that’s not what I’m here to write about.

Opening for Arcade Fire was The National. I was attending the concert with my girlfriend and by the time we go to the venue (an amazing old theatre) we had missed the first song or two of their set. I had not heard of the band prior to the show, but I ended up enjoying the performance. I actually ended up picking up a copy of their last album, Alligator. That was the first time I’ve gone to a concert and purchased an album of an opened I’d never heard of prior to the show. With the new Björk album coming out on Tuesday I haven’t had a chance to listen to it yet. I’ll get to it. The band played about a 45-minute set, which was just right. The singer had a very Ian Curtis/ Paul Banks sound to his voice. It worked well with the music, which was your typical indie-rock offering.

Arcade Fire came on stage to what appeared to be a recording of a female preacher. The kind of preacher you don’t see up north, the kind that looks absolutely nuts on stage, running around and screaming and just giving Christians a bad name. I’m not pointing out denominations, but I think you get the picture. There was a whole religious theme to the stage, with a prop-organ, and some lit up bible silhouettes. It wouldn’t be a stretch to see the connection to Neon Bible.

Highlights of the show included:

No Cars Go: I absolutely love this song. I have the original Arcade Fire ep, and No Cars Go was easily my favorite song of that ep, or the first album. That fact they re-released it, and made it better just blows my mind. Live the song was even better than on record.

Ocean of Noise: I wasn’t crazy about this track as it was recorded on Neon Bible, but live this song really took off. With the tremolo on the guitar it had this great 50s/60s surf-guitar vibe to it.

The band ended the main set with: Keep The Car Running, (Antichrist Television Blues), Neighborhood #3 (Power Out), and Rebellion (Lies). It was amazing. They could have stopped right there. They didn’t need an encore. In fact there was no way for them to top it. They did come back with an encore, but it didn’t really live up to the last 4 songs played.

I really enjoyed the show. As I mentioned above I had not seem them before, although I had seen them on TV a few times, and was disappointed each time. The last four songs really did it for. I had terrible seats for this show. They were hands down the worst seats to any concert I’ve been to in probably 4 years. It didn’t really matter though. The band put on such a great show that I was up out of my seat doing my best not to dance (I must maintain my indie-credibility, and I would’ve embarrassed my gf). One last thing about the show. It was much easier to tell the weaker songs from the strong performed live. I think the new album is good, not as amazing as Funeral, but good enough to recommend to a friend. Of all the songs played from Funeral, they were spot on. They band had the energy, the crowd was providing more energy, they were just draw droppingly good songs. The songs from Neon Bible that were pretty good on record came out great live. But the songs that were a bit weaker, came across as flat. The band just didn’t have it for some of the songs. I don’t what happened. That’s it, here is a set list. Courtesy of Us Kids Know.


Black Mirror,
No Cars Go
Neighborhood #2 (Laika)
Haiti
Black Wave/Bad Vibration
Neon Bible
Windowsill
The Well And The Lighthouse
Ocean Of Noise
Keep The Car Running
(Antichrist Television Blues)
Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)
Rebellion (Lies)

Encore:
Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
Intervention

I'll Say It Again.

I said it last year, and I'll say it again, Roger Clemens has no class. I'm not sure what was going through that block shaped head of his when he decided that playing for the Yankees was a good idea, but it sure as hell didn't have anything to do with his fans. I wish I knew what made this man tick. If he cared about something other than himself he would be playing for Boston Red Sox this season. Sure, the Sox don't actually need Clemens, but he would have been an excellent addition to the team. And it would have looked good to come back to the place he spent half of his career. I can't wait for his reaction when the Yanks miss the playoffs this year. I am ashamed to have been a fan of this man. He may be a great baseball player, but someone that shit on his fans the way "The Rocket" has, doesn't deserve to be looked up to by anyone. He is nothing more than another Aging Sell-Out.

I'm too disgusted to write anymore.

The Flaming Lips, Brown University, Providence RI: 4/21/07

Saturday The Flamings Lips played a show at Brown University, in Providence Rhode Island. Unlike some universities, Brown opened up tickets to the public, which is good if you got one. I didn't. My girlfriend had been in contact with the university for the last couple of weeks in an attempt to get us tickets, and we thought we would succeed. What we were told, was that more tickets would go on sale the morning of the show, and that we should get there early to purchase said tickets. What they didn't know was what time tickets would go on sale, and instructed us to contact them on Friday. Which we did, and they were already selling tickets. Apparently they decided to sell tickets a day early. They sold out Friday, a day I couldn't make it to Providence.

At this point my girlfriend and I were quite angry at being deceived out of tickets. But, being the go-getters we are, we decided to make our way to Brown on Saturday anyway, we were going to find a way into the concert. Which we did, go to Brown that is, we didn't get into the show. I didn't see anyone selling extra tickets, and security was tight enough to scare us off.

No Lips for us, but we did kick around Providence for a few hours. Up until Saturday I've never seen more of Providence than the highway to and from, and the inside of Lupo's. It's a nice city, I look forward to returning there June 6th for a Deftones concert. It's a Wednesday, but maybe I'll find a way to make a day of it.

In conclusion. Brown University sucks at keeping its word. Providence is a nice city. The Flamings Lips still rock.

TheGuinnessTooth in Germany

Today I received word that I, TheGuinnessTooth, will be moving to Germany for a 12 month stay. I'm not clear on all the details, but I'll be leaving either August 1st or September 1st, and I'll be in the German state of Baden-Württemberg. The purpose of the trip is to learn the German language, and I'll be studying at a German University.

I'll bring forth more details as I figure them out, but barring some sort of catastrophic financial meltdown I'll be reporting from southern Germany in about 4-5 months.

My Condolences.

In wake of this weeks shootings at Virginia Tech I would like to send my condolences to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. They have had the soap box ripped from under their feet. It's sad that this shooting had to happen so close to their opportunistic attack on Don Imus, they barely had time to make America hate him as much as they would have liked to. I know Heavy Metal and Video Games are to blame for this. If the shooter hadn't spent so much time listening to death metal and playing Grand Theft Auto, he never would have gone on the shooting rampage to begin with, and then Al & Jesse would still be tearing Imus a new one. I'm sure Al & Jesse are praying for the day when they can once again monopolize America's airwaves, and convince white people that they are in fact the devil.