Embarrasing but funny.

I probably shouldn't be sharing this, but it is so funny I can't help it.

The other day I was at school talking to a friend when I thought that maybe my upset stomach was just a bit of gas. I thought I was just releasing the pressure, but then I thought that no, that was a Shart. So off I ran for the nearest men’s room. I got into the only open stall, relieved that it was not a shart, but was just a normal fart. However, in my haste to get in there I failed to notice a crack in the toilet seat. I was stuck. The broken seat had managed to pinch my left check, and wouldn’t let go. When I tried to stand up the flesh was firmly held in place by the toilet. It was probably the single most painful thing I’ve gone through in the last 12-18 months. I swear to god I thought I was going to have the flesh torn from my ass. After a minute or two (which felt like an hour or two) I was able to free myself from the seat. It was been a few days now and I still have a massive blood blister on my left check. I’ve been sitting crooked ever since then.