Pointless.

It is 1:50am, and I'm supposed to be writing a paper that is due tomorrow at 10am. But, I need to take a break, so here are some things about Germany that annoy the hell out of me.

-They LOVE the song "Summer of 69" by Bryan Adams. I've heard this in nearly every bar, club and party I've been too. There are far too many dance remixes of this song for the universe to still be held together. At least I now know how to get a party started next time all my guests are German.

-Mullets are more popular here than in the American south and Canadian hinter lands combined. But, they are a bit fancier here. They are often times dyed a color contrasting the rest of the head.

-There is no such thing as spicy food. Nowhere. It doesn't matter what the sign/ menu tells you, your food will not be spicy. It might be spicy by German standards, but spicy by German standards is like being talented by Bryan Adams standards.

-The music stores here suck. I've been looking for the new Ryan Adams ep, and all I can find are Bryan Adams albums. Why do they love him so much? I also cannot find the new Sigur Rós DVD, and the new double ep costs me about $30USD.

-Stores are all closed on Sunday.

-Stores are usually closed between 6-8 every other day of the week.

-The buses stop running before the bars close (all the better to get out of there before they play "Summer of 69" one more time).

-Shampoo smells like ass.

-Beer is super cheap. No, thats a good thing, forget this.

-You cannot buy a steak anywhere, but you can get all the breaded and fried pork your heart could desire. And don't forget to put lemon juice on it!!! Lemon??

-Did I mentioned they LOOOVVVVEEEE Bryan Adams. I swear if he knew how much he was loved here, he could totally be the new Führer.

Cargasm Weekend.

My dorm has the worst Internet connection I've ever experienced. It has failed to work at least half the time I've been here. That's close to 15 days of inactivity. I promise to try and update when my Internet works.

Tomorrow I'm taking a train up to Stuttgart to visit the Mercedes-Benz museum. I cannot wait, I came to Germany, more or less, to look at car pr0n every time I walk out the door. I'll be spending the night, and then on Friday I'll be checking out the Porsche museum. I'm not sure, but there maybe also be a factory tour involved with the Porsche museum, I'll let you know the next time my Internet works. I'm sure I'll be taking a boatload of photos there. I have two 2GB memory cards, if any museum could give me cause to fill these, it would be these museums.

As I've now told you twice, my Internet sucks. That isn't all that sucks around this place. I live in a place that is most often described as a prison, although Gulag and Soviet apartment block are thrown around almost as frequently. It is a 40ish year old concrete building with failing kitchens and bathrooms. The university had intended to raze the places a few years ago, but they haven't yet found a replacement plan that was economical. My shower constantly is emanating a scent more often associated with a septic tanks than showers. I share a kitchen with 11 other people, two of which happen to be African (Cameroon to be exact). And although they are really nice people, they cook constantly, and it stinks. Yesterday the kitchen smelled like someone had spilt around 3 gallons of sardine juices all over the place, and then defecated on it. The laundry room doesn't really work. The washing machines wash, but they don't rinse. After a 50 minutes wash cycle you have soaking wet, soapy clothes. Then it comes time to dry them, and the dryers don't work. Well, they work, just not properly. One of the dryers spins, but doesn't heat up. The other dryer heats up, but doesn't spin. Either way your clothes are f•cked. You can see the method I used for drying my clothes right here. Sonnenbühl OST Ghetto Laundry. There are two things that I love about my residence.
1: Is the Vag-ball; it is a piece of modern art that looks like a giant ball of metal vaginas. This picture isn't the greatest. It was taken from 7 stories up, I'll try to get a better photo for a future blog post.
2: Look at this view.
Those are the alps if you were wondering. I have more photos, some that are better, but I'm saving those for a possible dedicated post.

Despite the dismal living conditions I love it here in Konstanz. The city is beautiful, and full of history. If you do a quick query on wikipedia you can read all about the city for yourself.

After my Cargasmic trip to Stuttgart I hope to post more. Tschüß

Still Alive

I've been so busy here the last few weeks. I didn't get internet until last Thursday, and then it cut out on me over the weekend due to a fire. It was fixed on Tuesday, but keeps cutting out on me. Last Friday I went to the local Oktoberfest here in Konstanz. And, tomorrow I will be attending Oktoberfest in Munich. The weekend before last I went to a Weinfest (wine festival) across the lake in Meersburg.

I'll fill you in on more info when I get the time. I've been so busy and the internet is so slow here that I've been reluctant to upload any photos. I want to share where I live with the world, or at least the 3 people that read this blog.

Godspeed Me!

This is my last post from the US of A for a very long time. Next time I post, it will be from Germany. I've been going crazy getting ready for this trip, and right now it looks like I will be going just as crazy when I get there. If you don't here from me for a while, it is simply because I am busy beyond belief. I will try to post something about my new residence as soon as I possibly can. I've got a plane to catch in about 17hours, so I am going to finish packing.


I'll see you on the other side.

Taxes, Travel & Jury Duty.

Nothing pisses me off like the government wasting tax dollars on frivolous things, unless its me they're wasting money. And things get even better when they're not my tax dollars being wasted, but rather Dieter & Gunter's Euros being wasted on me. That's right, the oh so precise Germans are giving me free money. Yay. I'm getting 1500euro from the state Baden-Württemburg.

Speaking of Germany, I booked my flight yesterday and I will be departing on the evening of September 2nd. I won't be coming back until May, and then only for a 4 day weekend.

I had Jury Duty yesterday, and although I only was there 4 hours it was the most soul sucking experience in recent memory. As the bumper stickers say, "Never Again."